Warning! My dreams and nightmares often contain graphic content. Some people would find the things I dream about to be offensive. Definitely not suitable for children. Mature content please be advised.
I have had nightmares since I was about 12 years old. After being sexually abused it wasn’t surprising my subconscious would battle it out at night.
For many years I also had night terrors in which I would not remember my dreams but I would act them out. Sleepwalking was a common occurrence for many, many years and I would become violent and even sometimes ill.
Often I have night mares involving rape. The other night in my dream I was kidnapped by a man that I recognized as a heroine user. At first I wasn’t too afraid. But he and his friend forced me to do heroine. They held me down and stuck a needle in my arm.
This dream continued in great detail, seeming to be actual reality. While I am dreaming I can feel… I felt it when they repeatedly raped me in my dream. They stripped me of everything I had taking with them part of my humanity.
As the night progressed these strangers started to leave me alone for periods of time. Every time I had the chance I tried to work out my great escape. But there was no way out. The only window was a tiny vent sized bathroom window. I was crawling out of it the best I could when my rapists returned. They drug me through broken glass and beat me into unconsciousness.
I’ll stop there because my dreams tend to be too graphic for me to even want to continue reading. I have had these types of dreams almost every night since I lost my virginity at twelve and was continuously raped over my teen years by so many different men.
Note to all men and people doing raping…if she’s 12, she doesn’t want to, even if she plays along…she’s 12.
So many rapes happen every day. It’s a tragedy that we turn the other way and ignore it. Having been a victim of sexual abuse I know why most girls don’t speak up. There’s a stigma to it and often it makes us feel dirty to admit that disgusting things have happened in our life’s. We sometimes feel broken and used and a lot of us just don’t want to deal with it. It’s easier to pretend like nothing happened.
I’m tired of feeling ashamed. I shouldn’t be the one to feel ashamed. They should. I’m tired of staying quiet and not talking about it and pretending that it never happened just wanting it to go away. I’m done staying quiet on issues of humanity! Raping is inhuman.
End Rape NOW.
We have free will, use it. Just don’t rape.
Prosecute rapists to the fullest extent of the law. The Bible says that the man should be killed if he’s not willing to pay the price. I know that’s a little Old Testament but you know… We have laws for a reason. Rape is wrong. That is why it’s illegal.
Every victim of sexual abuse feel strengthened. We have the power to change the world. God is on our side. Jesus is on our side. We win!
Don’t be afraid. You are not alone. There are so many of us. We can do it!